{"id":183,"date":"2016-05-24T20:12:15","date_gmt":"2016-05-25T01:12:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/?p=183"},"modified":"2016-05-24T20:12:15","modified_gmt":"2016-05-25T01:12:15","slug":"the-imperial-we","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/2016\/05\/24\/the-imperial-we\/","title":{"rendered":"The “Imperial We”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n

If you listen to the\u00a0Queen of England speak, you’ll notice that she uses the term “we<\/strong><\/em>” instead of “I<\/strong><\/em>“. The reason she does this\u00a0is because, she speaks for the nation. This “Imperial We” includes\u00a0everyone, not just the Queen.<\/p>\n

In my job in the corporate world, we have a business version of the “Imperial We”, sometimes referred to as the “Corporate We”. \u00a0For example, when writing emails, people will typically use “we<\/strong><\/em>” instead of “I<\/strong><\/em>” and that can instill a sense of belonging or inclusion with the audience\u00a0of the email. Again, “we<\/strong><\/em>” it’s a sense of togetherness, a “we can do this”.<\/p>\n

For many years, I was subjected to a different version of the “Imperial We”. In my case, it wasn’t meant as term\u00a0of togetherness or inclusion. \u00a0Rather, what was really meant was “Me<\/strong><\/em>” not “we<\/strong><\/em>“. \u00a0Let me give you a few examples:<\/p>\n

“We need to take out the trash.”
\n“We should\u00a0to clean the house.”
\n“Can we\u00a0do some lawn work?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When I was told\u00a0these, make no mistake, there was no “we<\/strong><\/em>” in them. \u00a0What was really meant was:<\/p>\n

“You need to take out the trash.”
\n“You should clean the house.”
\n“Can you do some lawn work?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If I didn’t do whatever the “we<\/strong><\/em>” command said, there would be abusive consequences ranging from mental abuse (e.g., the silent treatment), emotional abuse (e.g., tension in the home, intimidation), verbal abuse (e.g., name calling, sarcasm, etc.). \u00a0It got to where I would cringe whenever I heard the “we<\/strong><\/em>” term.<\/p>\n

Fast forward to today…<\/p>\n

I’m now in a real, loving, relationship. \u00a0We are a partnership. I support her, and she supports me. \u00a0When “we<\/strong><\/em>” want to do something, “we<\/strong><\/em>” do it together, as a team. \u00a0Bedroom needs repainting? \u00a0Boom! “we<\/strong><\/em>” do it together. \u00a0House needs cleaning? \u00a0Boom! I’m vacuuming while she’s dusting, “we<\/strong><\/em>” knock it out fast and “we<\/strong><\/em>” knock it out together. \u00a0With my wife, I know that when she says “we<\/strong><\/em>” she means “we<\/strong><\/em>“.<\/p>\n

Over time, I’ve been un-learning a lot of my\u00a0learned behaviors from my abuser. In this case, I’m trying to erase my learned definition\u00a0of the “Imperial We” and replace that with its\u00a0true, inclusive, definition.<\/p>\n

The next time you hear a “we<\/strong><\/em>” statement from your partner, don’t just hear the “we<\/strong><\/em>“… listen to it. \u00a0You’ll know it if it’s a real “we<\/strong><\/em>” or not, deep down. \u00a0You might not want to (or possibly might not be ready to) admit it yourself, but you’ll know it. \u00a0You and your partner should be equals and you should be treated as such. \u00a0You deserve respect. \u00a0You are worthy of love.<\/p>\n

“We<\/strong><\/em>” should always be inclusive, it should never mean just “me<\/strong><\/em>“, and with the help and loving support of my wife, it never will again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n\n

Tweet<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you listen to the\u00a0Queen of England speak, you’ll notice that she uses the term “we” instead of “I“. The reason she does this\u00a0is because, she speaks for the nation. This “Imperial We” includes\u00a0everyone, not just the Queen. In my job in the corporate world, we have a business version Continue reading The “Imperial We”<\/span>→<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-story"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":185,"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions\/185"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theworthydad.serveblog.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}